标题: Dedication to QAF(Brian mostly) [打印本页] 作者: Yinging 时间: 2007-4-26 22:09 标题: Dedication to QAF(Brian mostly)
This piece is dedicated to QAF, Brian, Justin, Michael, and all other guys in QAF, who have somehow helped me go
through one of my hardest time in life. I hope I have truly benefited from watching you living in it, be it fictional
or what. I hope the best is yet to come. And I know the worst is yet to come also, maybe.
All right. I welcome you all,
best or worst. That's just what life should be like.
J: I'll be back. And you'll come there. We'll see each other all the time.
B: You don't know that. Neither do I.
Whether we'll see each other next weekend, or next month, never again, doesn't matter. It's only time.
J: (picks up the rings on the couch) You didn't return them?
B: I didn't return them.
J: We don't need rings or vows to prove that we love each other. We already know that.
B: You did it.
J: Did what?
B: Became the best homosexual you can possibly be.
Then,开始少儿不宜了，很不宜。不过哎，要是少了这段我还真觉得不太完整,是真情流露来着。
直到最后，很欣慰Brian其实还是没有变，骨子里的东西是不会变的，说的每个字都是清醒的现实的。
我从头到尾都不太喜欢Justin,他长得不够帅，有点幼稚。
这五年里，Brian又当情人又当老师又当爹又当ATM提款机的，那叫一个累哦。
但Justin是爱Brian的，所以会对专业杂志上对他艺术才能的溢美之词对纽约艺术界的召唤不屑一顾：“Fuck New York. New York is not my lifetime opportunity. Brian is."
但五年的时间他也算成熟了，所以才会说：“Each day we get closer to the day of our marriage, the person I love just drift
further away."
他知道为了自己，Brian多多少少是要牺牲自己个性的一部分，而牺牲不是爱，这也是他从Brian那里学来的。
他们当着所有亲友的面平静得宣布取消婚礼,went their separate ways.
只留给我们上面一段对话。
留给我们最完美的遗憾。
这段爱情是美丽的，太美丽了。
“也许你我终将行踪不明，但是你该知道我曾因你动情。”（Charles Baudelaire)
爱,才要分开。
"这世上有两种悲剧：一种是得不到你想要得，另一种是你得到了。”（Oscar Wilde）
且不论是否太过悲观了，哪怕他说的只有一分道理，Brian和Justin就有了最好的结局：they had it and then there at its best
they let it go.
当然了不中用的我还是想哭的。
这是最美丽的爱情。
Michael: So the thumpa thumpa continues. It always will, no matter what happens, no matter who's president.
As our lady of disco, the divine miss Giola has always sung to us-we will survive.
终于明白Michael这段话的含义了。
Brian之所以是Brian。Michael之所以醒了没有一辈子等着Brian,也不去想着会不会等到这码子事了。Justin之所以会离开。
有人说Brian的生活就是一团燃烧到极致的欲望之火。
他热爱青春热爱生命热爱欲望热爱每一个爱他懂他的人，只是他从来不说，他只是活他只是做他只是极尽可能的去挥霍到奢靡。
像巩俐阿姨说的：“菊花都绣好了。总得开一回。”
哪怕“菊花残 满地伤”。
不是死的难题，而是生的选择。
Brian活着一天就要放肆地燃烧一天。
从鬼门关走了一遭也不能改变。不应改变。
Michael本该早就懂了。Justin后来也懂了。
虽然Michael曾经说过那么伤Brian的话：“Just because we are friends for our entire life doesn't mean we have to stay
friends."
一向毒舌的Brian居然没有还嘴，不是词穷，只是他那么爱护Michael，所以他不会去还这个嘴.他不会去揭Michael的痛处。他不会
去说：你以为你幸福吗？Michael?你以为你和你HIV Positive的Ben还有你HIV Positive的foster son Hunter还能幸福多久呢？
那一刻Brian就呆呆地站那，咽下了Michael的类似决裂书的话。
那一刻以为Brian真的四面楚歌了。Always have, always will全是骗人的。
那时Michael还没有完全懂,他在说气话，他在为Brian替Lindsay付钱请律师使自己丧失了女儿RJ一部分custody而大为光火。
Justin离开后，还是Michael乐呵呵地来找Brian:"Thought you might need some company。"后来还不顾自己刚刚出院的身体要带Brian去Babylon的废墟跳舞。吻了Brian，然后走下舞台，让Brian继续舞在只属于他自己一个人的舞台。
这个时候他才是真正的懂了。
从14岁起，Michael就爱Brian，Brian从来都知道。
Brian也爱Michael，总是在Michael需要的时候第一时间在他身边，只是这份爱没有再往前走一步。
他们从来没有跨过那条界。
没有拥有或者改变。
只要他们都还在这个世上，他们会永远注视关照着彼此。Always have, always will。
不是爱人也可以执子之手，与子偕老。
这是最伟大的友情。
但是在得知他得了癌症之后，Debbie流着泪去给Brian祈祷：“Brian Kinney. Of course you know him. God, I hope you don't
have a place there for him yet. You make sure he's still gonna be with us for a long long time.(有没这句啊，忘了。）Even though he wouldn't admit it,the biggest organ of his is his heart.(这句也不确定，差不离吧。）"
Lindsay坚持让Brian不需参加自己的婚礼去white party："I want you to be happy. I want you to fuck as many guys as possible. No apologies. No regrets."Brian看了她一眼，似要说点什么，没说，转身离去，Lindsay对着空气说了句：“I love you too."
这些没有血缘关系的都是Brian剪也剪不断不是亲情胜是亲情的亲情。
